Since no one reads this and I need to type something that no one will read I'mma type this here.

I want to screeeeeeeeeeeeam! I want to just freak out. I feel like if i do something ANYTHING than this extreme indifference that I am feeling will pass. I am in a fog each and everyday and I don't know how to get out.

I zone out when people speak to me. I can't think straight when I hear them. I feel tired, and restless, I feel like everything, ever fucking little thing, that I'm doing is going to be for nothing will let each and every person down. Some people dont want me here because I'll f' up. others just don't like me. I can sense it. I have sense the begining I've tried mending it I really have, but alas twas in vain! I can't even think about spending a week with some people that I am positive hate me! I'm being pushed out of social circles, information isn't circulating to me. I dont know what I did but I know it was something. Every day people expect me to know things that I just never heard of. When I don't know they get angry, ask someone else, I never hear the answer.

I'm so shy. I'm so anti social. the beer tent is where we must go but I can't mingle. I can't talk to people. I physically cannot. I'm feeling as thought i'm being judged each and every second. People loose their temper with me, in a second. They aren't clear in emails and when I ask I get put down. I may as well not ask, but that won't work in the end.

I guess I just have to get through.
I will get thorugh.
I just don't know whats at the end.